Love, Blood and Rhetoric

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:30:02 GMT

10:30 Comics - Not just for kids: bit.ly/gQ9q8 Apparently some people still find this surprising. #
15:14 I find the lack of poppies when I walk down the street to be disappointing. #
15:33 The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. #
15:45 I'm assuming Joss Whedon's trying to be cute with the Terminator thing. But I'm leaning towards slappable. bit.ly/3o9OZd #
15:50 11 Photos Made Infinitely Awesomer By Lightsaber Photoshops - bit.ly/3RXrLV #
17:13 This lists thing may actually prove to be extremely useful. I like being able to read groups of users updates without having to follow. #
17:33 I ache, therefore I am. #
00:04 Major OS failure. Desperately trying to backup and restore, but looks like my computer's fatally choking. Consider me AWOL for the duration. #

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The Miss Marple Collection

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:39:59 GMT

"Mr. Rafiel's bloodhound - his avenging angel. She looks so harmless, doesn't she? But her camouflage is perfect because she is partly just what she seems - a gossipy old village lady, but her logic is ruthless and her powers of synthesis formidable. And above all she never lets go."

I've recently been addicted to the BBC's adaptations of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple stories when I picked up the DVD in response to the star studded, but lamentable, recent ITV productions. I've always had a soft spot for Miss Marple, far more so than Christie's more famous creation Poirot.

Originally airing between 1984 and 1992 the BBC adaptated all twelve of the Miss Marple novels, featuring the superlative Joan Hickson in the title role. I remember watching many of the adaptations as a child (a good murder mystery is just the ticket for kids. I certainly recall being terrified by the chilling murderer in The Sleeping Murder, with their hands like "grey, monkey paws".) The complete DVD collection is 1,360 minutes of solid, glossy crime, with some fabulous scripts from playwrights like Alan Plater, a cast of great British character actors (Joan Sims, Peter Davison, Samantha Bond, Paul Eddington, Donald Pleasence, Liz Fraser, Josh Ackland and many others), and directed by some memorable directors, including the Boulting Brother's Roy Boulting.

Most impressive though is Joan Hickson, who's widely regarded as the definitive Miss Marple. (After seeing Hickson in an adaptation of her "Appointment With Death," as early as 1946 Christie reportedly sent her a note expressing the hope she would one day "play my dear Miss Marple.") She play Miss Marple not as a simpering twitterer nor as a comical eccentric, but as a rather stiff upright observer whose gaze can be unflinching. As she says in Nemesis: "He called me Nemesis, you know, and he wasn't being entirely humorous". You might invite Margaret Rutherford's Marple out for drinks. You'd probably wonder why sprightly Angela Lansbury was hanging out with all the fuddy duddies. You'd certainly pretend to be out if ghastly Geraldine McEwan battered on the door with a gin bottle.. It's Joan Hickson who you'd choose to solve your murder. Hickson quietly layers Miss Marple with the many qualities that make her a good detective and a good person—keen reasoning skills, a willingness to really look and listen, patience, a little sadness and cynicism, perseverance, and, of course, an ear for gossip. As Inspector Slack memorably states in one of the episodes, "She's a little old lady who knits and wears lace. She also has a mind like a bacon slicer. It's a very good disguise." And all the while quintesentially the grande dame of the village circle - unflinching and unforgiving, whilst politely sipping at her tea.

The collection of adaptations is excellent and, unlike the more recent ITV adaptations, true to the books with slight exceptions (the wonderful, unsubtle, long-suffering and insufferable Inspector Slack is slipped into a couple of the adaptations where he was otherwise absent), but there's none of the playing hard and fast with the stories or attempts to modernize them - the period detail is near perfect and feels true, rather than forcing political correctness onto a character that would undoubtedly be of her time. It's a strength of the performances and the screenwriting that even the most irritating Christie-isms, where red herrings crop up to the point of ridiculousness, don't spoil the enjoyment of the adaptations of a whole.

The boxed set includes The Body in the Library, At Bertram’s Hotel, The Moving Finger, Nemesis, A Murder Is Announced, 4.50 from Paddington, A Pocketful of Rye, A Caribbean Mystery, Murder at the Vicarage, They Do it with Mirrors, Sleeping Murder, The Mirror Crack’d from Side to Side, of which my favourite is probably Nemesis, where Miss Marple is a fearless and unforgiving avenging angel in tweed.

All of which, with the unforgettable (trust me, I've tried) theme music makes this one of the most enjoyable boxed sets I've picked up in a very long time.

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:30:01 GMT

10:14 Support Royal British Legion, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! - bit.ly/4AZ9S0 #
10:18 Is deadline and Halloween over now? Is it safe to come out without getting attacked by a trick or bloody treater? #
10:23 Have to admit to being annoyed by the commercial attempts to Americanize Brits. They'll be trying to get us to celebrate Thanksgiving next. #
10:24 Although, I think we should celebrate Independence Day. For different reasons from the Yanks, obviously. #
14:59 I fear anyone who describes themselves as "a humourist". #

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:50:03 GMT

There's a certain addictiveness with the Harry Potter books that's hard to deny. It's a sensible move that the novels mature with their audience, so by the time we get to this, the fifth book in the series, it's more in-depth, more teen-angsty than the previous outings with a nice line in dark and twisted moments.

However, in other ways it's a disappointment. The book's hard to put down and doesn't feel its length, but it's hard to deny there's an awful lot of prose that doesn't really add a lot to the plot. There's not as much pure filler as the last novel, with Hermione's house elf obsession thankfully shuffled to one side this time around, but there's undoubtedly a lot of time devoted to certain plotlines that, in the end, don't really tie into the novel's climax. Again. And what's all that repetition needed for? How many time does Harry have to lose his temper and yell at his friends? How many times does his stomach have to jump to show that he's somewhat in love with Cho? And how many punishments and disappointments does he have to suffer to show that his fifth year at Hogwarts is not an easy one? How many scrapes do Fred and George have to get into?

And all the extra wordage doesn't always help the characterisations. Take for example, Delores Umbridge. In the movie version I found her to be a wonderful, rather satirical villain. In the novel less so, since she's so obviously described as repulsive a toad-like and pantomime-villainous from the first rather than the semi-subtlety of Imelda Staunton's performance. Given her presence throughout the novel, I was expecting some kind of tie-in to the climax - instead she's a hindrance throughout and then is not-so-neatly shuffled aside to make room for the real villain to appear.

Then there's the disappointing way some of the old characters are used. While Snape and Neville finally get further developed and Hermione gets to demonstrate she's wise as well as smart, Ron is given nothing of interest to do and doesn't contribute to the plot at all, while Hagrid and Dumbledore are screwed over rather, with the former's repeated oblivious tendency to put his friends in mortal peril and the latter's unsympathetic and illogical reasons for being a jerk to Harry for most of the novel. And Sirius is pretty much only tolerable because of remembrance of Gary Oldman's charismatic performances in the movies rather than the portrayal in the novel.

Of course, Harry's whiny bad temper would be off-putting by itself, but since I've never found him particularly sympathetic anyway, I can't say it bothered me too much. In one way I rather liked that the heroes demonstrated more shades of grey and Harry wasn't portrayed as being the perfect, lucky bastard of previous novels and he and his friends aren't saved by some magical doohicky at the end of the book and there are losses. It's especially nice to see his "heroic" father and god-father had plenty of darkness in their souls and Rowling isn't afraid to show Harry himself as a typical teenager - making him aggressive, loud, irritating and out and out obnoxious at times. Whether there's much fun in that depends on your mileage, though.

So some good, mixed with the bad. The trouble is, while the earlier novels were light on detail, I found this one went the opposite way. I didn't care about the ins and outs of the quiddich teams or a daily breakdown of the character's revision timetables. And 25 pages of exposition at the end of the novel is rather too many, let's face it.

In fairness, however, despite its length and the amount of unnecessary storylines tagged onto the central plot, I didn't feel like putting the book down at any point. In fact, I found it rather addictive and read it a lot quicker and easier than I was expecting why I first picked it up. However, I couldn't help but feel that the tempo should have picked up rather more than it did - the return of Voldemort apparently meant nothing more than a few bad dreams for Harry and him attempting to hear a prophesy. Hardly the terrifying weapon we'd been hearing about and the confrontation with Voldemort isn't exactly gripping. For book five I was expecting a more climactic plot than I got.

From what I hear, and from the movie adaptation, I can look forward to more teenage soap opera in the next book and very little plot, but if the book's as easy to read as this was, despite its numerous flaws, I won't mind that much.

Doctor Who - Every Adventure 1963-2008

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:23:19 GMT

It's that time of year again...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:49:13 GMT

When people start to ask me what I'm doing for Halloween. At which point I like to steer them in the direction of this particular educational video from Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie:

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:30:01 GMT

13:39 As the media launch an attack on the BNP, one blogger asks, "Wait a minute, aren't you a bunch of racist A-holes too?" bit.ly/inlKX #
16:47 Well, that was two hours of my life I'll never get back. Thanks a bunch chronologically challenged Indian restaurant people. #
16:57 Okay, I should be getting back to work. But first, I think, a bit more Miss Marple with bonus Arthur Bostrom. #
00:08 Pisces: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus. You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say. #
00:26 Worth a read before the church of Scientology yanks it: bit.ly/F6ADB Director Paul Haggis quits over their support of Proposition 8 #

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Seven Songs

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:21:36 GMT

A new music meme for you.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your 7 songs. ~~Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.~~ Feel free to snag if you like!

I'm on a bit of a nostalgic indie kick at the moment. Although not entirely.

The Wonder Stuff - Sleep Alone

From the classic "Never Loved Elvis" album, released in 1991. Damn I feel old. The soundtrack to my teenage years, though. RIP Rob "The Bass Thing" Jones and drummer Martin Gilks.

The Cardiacs - Is This The Life?

I can't remember whether I first heard this track on John Peel or Mark and Lard when they were on late night Radio 1. It was stuck on one of my radio-recorded compilations for years though. I still love how... out there it sounds.

Nirvana vs Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit Up

What?

Kirsty MacColl - There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis

A little before my time, really. I missed Kirsty's golden years. But I still miss her. She guested on a bunch of albums I did own, whether it was the Wonder Stuff, Billy Bragg, The Happy Mondays, The Smiths, The Pogues. Her tragic death in 2000 was a terrible blow.

Weird Al Yankovic - Hardware Store

Yes, I'm obsessed with this song. Still.

Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down

Should I admit that I heard this for the first time a few months back in an Eastenders trailer? Probably not.

Carter USM - Do Re Me (So Far So Good)

Still appropriate, even if it's not 1992 any more. "Where are the songs about boozers and buildings,
banning the bomb and abusing the children?" Fruitbat's shorts and cycling hat, less appropriate.

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:30:06 GMT

10:57 Five reasons why it sucks being a Joss Whedon fan: bit.ly/10KQ6E #
11:06 Oh dear. Maybe it was a bad idea to add Diora Baird as a Facebook friend when I check it from work. *furtivefapfapfap* #
12:00 RIP Kanye West appears to be in the best traditions of Chris Morris announcing the death of Michael Heseltine on Radio 1 when he was fine. #
12:01 Oooh, you lucky bastard: bit.ly/2PK4Sz #
13:32 That girl on Masterchef looks like she was animated by Nick Park. #
14:42 Oh well, I appear to have offended pretty much everyone I was talking to about Thanksgiving. Job done. #
16:43 "They hung in the air exactly the same way that bricks don't." #
17:03 Today it's Trafalgar Day, for celebrating that time in 1805 when Nelson gave the united Frenchie and Spanish navies a damn good licking. #
17:10 As tradition dictates, visit HMS Victory & by the brass plaque that says "Nelson fell here" intone "I nearly tripped over the thing myself". #
21:13 The part with Cthulhu interviewing for the job of God in the new Hitchhiker's book is pretty good. Shame there's not more stuff like that. #
21:59 Okay, I just watched the last 10 minutes of the US version of Life on Mars on Youtube. WHAT THE F*** DID THEY DOOOoooooooo...??!!!! #
22:00 To be fair, both endings made me cry. It's just one wasn't with laughter. #
22:16 There's something wrong when I'm going to bed at 10 at night. Any time before 1am and it doesn't feel right. But my body's rebelling. #

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Comic sales figures for September

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:24:36 GMT

ICv2 have now posted the estimated sales figures for September. I've skipped a month since the figures came out while I was on holiday last month, so I'll try and cover that. Or just ignore it. We'll see!

Blackest Night and it tie-ins have been the big winner in terms of unit sales and dollar sales were up again, 12% on the previous year, although part of that can be attributed to price rises on many titles. Marvel, particularly, has been pushing price rises across the board, to the detriment of unit sales. Of those raised to $3.99, the newly relaunched Ultimate line (Avengers and Spider-Man) saw some drop substantial drops from their second issues, dropping a around 25,000 copies each from the first issues, while another title recently converted to $3.99, Hulk, is also down substantially, with #15 down about 18,700 copies from the previous issue.

Now on to the titles I've been tracking:

Uncanny X-men sees the end of a three month climb due to its crossovers, tie-ins and associations with Dark Reign. The Dark Reign, Dark Avengers, Uncanny X-men miniseries crossover thing hones in on the 75k level, but with the Uncanny parent title showing estimated sales of 73k, that's a substantial drop from July, when the crossover started and sales were 83k and August where they apparently climbed to 90k. It's still a way above the low of 69k pre-crossover, but the Dark Reign business only holding onto 4k above that record low could be considered disappointing. Next month will be the telling one to see whether the "exciting new direction for the X-men" has made the slightest difference in sales so soon after the last change in geographical location.

Just below that, there's four issues of Amazing Spider-man, varying between 62.5-70k. Still around that same level, there's obviously a core audience for the book as they always appear to be around that level, with the occasional jump for first issues of new arcs. Not a success, but not the failure that some were wishing on the post-One More Day direction. Mary Jane's appearances do appear to have tempted a few thousand readers back to the book, though.

A bit of a disappointment for X-Force which drops to 50k, actually lower than it was before the crossover with Cable, although not by much. Marvel have to be pleased by the success of the crossover, though, even if it hasn't translated into long term sales. The start of the Necrosha crossover with New Mutants and other titles might give the title another boost next month, though.

Deadpool continues it success story, with sales at 50k, 10% down on the previous issue which tied into X-Force, but still up on the earlier issues which in turn were the most successful Deadpool's been in some considerable time. Marvel do appear to be in danger of oversaturating the market with Deadpool appearances, however, but I guess they're making hay while the sun shines.

No X-men Legacy, this month, but there's an annual which manages sales of 46k. The previous issue saw a 4k boost thanks to a Dark Reign tie in and there's the new direction, focusing on Rogue and the younger X-students over Professor Xavier, which may possibly aid sales for fans of those characters, but given the way this title's dipped since it ceased being a team book and the lack of interest in the Young X-men title, I wouldn't bet on it.

After the relative success story of the first few issues, it looks like New Mutants has taken a turn for the worst. The first issue sold 60k, issues 2-3 sold around 44k. Issue 4 saw a dip down to 38k but it's the dip for the latest issue right down to 31k that's alarming. Part of that could be put down to the lack of incentive covers for that issue - the first four issues had three a piece - but that's still a big drop and takes the book from looking like a healthy seller to dropping below the sales of New X-men. Fingers crossed it's just down to the issue being a one-shot filler story and the tie in to Necrosha and the return of a long-absent character next issue enough to boost sales. However, the drop does suggest that the title wasn't as much of a success as I'd originally thought.

X-Factor - 30k now, a very slight slide, but it still doesn't seem to be going anywhere very fast. Peter David appeared to indicate it had been cancelled a few weeks ago, but it continues to be solicited into January, so presumably not.

Incredible Hercules continues the slide, now down to 26k. It's solicited into January too, with a crossover coming up, so it appears to be safe for now, but I wouldn't be betting on the long term future.

X-men Forever continues to drop, but is actually levelling out. Realisticly speaking, with 24k for #7 and 23k for #8 I can't see this lasting much beyond issue 18 (it's solicited up to #16 with a two part story starting in that issue) and it's definitely pushing the cancellation zone now, but the initial sales of around the 30k mark for issues 1-5 were boosted by variant covers. Issues 6-8 are steadyish around that 24k mark. Low still, which is a shame, as it's one X-book I continue to enjoy. I can't help but be disappointed for myself and Chris Claremont, who I think has put in some good work on the book. It may survive a little longer though - at $3.99 it's making more profit per issue than a lot of the other low selling titles. It depends on Marvel's own expectations, I suppose.

Oh, Marvel Divas sunk like a stone. Do doubt Marvel will use this as ammunition to suggest that books about female characters don't sell and ignore the reason might be that people didn't want to read a book with sexist cheesecake covers and attempts to shoehorn pre-existing characters into Sex in the City archetypes. Either way, #3 has sales of 12k and will most likely dip to around 10k for the final issue. Catastrophic and a clear indicator that controversy doesn't always translate into sales, especially when what should have been the core audience of a book has been alienated before the first issue's even out.

Runaways dipped to 15.5k and is now officially on hiatus awaiting a "retooling". It's hard to imagine what form this might take as new creative teams and renumbering hasn't helped the book since Joss Whedon's long delayed run and Terry Moore's take appears to have killed off the fanbase. It's sad to see a book like Runaways killed, especially mid-arc, but with sales like that it's hardly surprising. Short of somehow persuading Brian K. Vaughan back onto the title and hoping he brings all the old readership with him, I'm not sure what they can try, unless they have another "superstar" writer lined up. I think at this stage, the best thing that could be done for the book is to let it rest and give the opportunity for people to start missing it and come back with a vengeance rather than publishing for the sake of publishing.

Review: Unseen Academicals

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:17:31 GMT

I've been hitting a few new releases over the past week or so - I've finished Terry Pratchett's latest and am onto the new Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy novel. But first about the Pratchett.

Unseen Academicals is the latest Discworld novel and, like Making Money, The Truth and Going Postal other recent entries in the series, it focuses on the idea of taking a modern concept - in this case, football - into the Discworld setting.

The trouble is that it becomes clear very early on that the book doesn't really know what it wants to do. Is it an intelligent comment on individuality vs tribalism? Is it a funny book about the wizards attempting to learn football? Is it a romance story? Is it an introspective on being the best you can be, no matter where you came from? The answer is: probably.

And the trouble with trying to be so many things is that it ends up not being anything much. Oh, it's funny enough, but with too many characters and plotlines fighting for attention - it starts off being about the wizards and they soon end up being more like cameos by the end of the book with their plotline forgotten as the new (and, frankly, blander) characters take over. The new characters, Glenda, Juliet and Mr Nutt and so forth are from the same stable that brought forth Moist, Christine and Pteppic and a number of other characters that strike me as being equally unmemorable. There's loose ends that never get resolved, details that don't quite ring true to characters/scenarios from previous books, and stray bits of story that just don't fit in anywhere.

Then there are the cameos, be they the Librarian, Rincewind, Sam Vimes or whoever, who circle into the story's orbit without contributing much, often act vaguely out of character and don't appear to be there for any reason other than being there. Vetinari's appearance is worth the price of admission for the scene where he gets drunk but I'm not sure when he got to be so chatty and gregarious.

Although the book is enjoyable, Pratchett doesn't really seek to break the mold or take things to the next level, like he did with Nation. It was a book I found all too easy to put down - while usually I'd finish a Pratchett novel in a couple of days, this took almost a week to get through. It's not bad, it's just not that great either - sadly, part of the course for recent Pratchett.

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:30:06 GMT

10:56 Hey, I was at this gig. ♫ blip.fm/~f3yq3 #
13:06 RIP Vic Mizzy, best known for writing the themes for Green Acres and The Addams Family, who has passed away at the age of 93. #
13:12 It was nice of my boss to tell me to take an extra day off. Of course, now I'm worried that there's stuff I should be doing at work, but... #
19:57 Gotta love it when people do insane stuff with LEGO. bit.ly/12wiLv #
20:03 Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss, Old Fat Furry Catpuss, Wake up and look at this thing that I bring... bit.ly/CuxX4 #
20:08 I believe that there's a generation of Brits with a highly advanced sense of whimsy purely down to Oliver Postgate - bit.ly/Y5Kjw #
21:26 Quarter of the way through the new Hitchhiker's Guide book. So far it is what an Oasis album is to Sergeant Peppers. #
23:42 In a Stuffies mood today. I remember when indie music was... well, fun. I call it BC. Before Coldplay. ♫ blip.fm/~f51w8 #

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Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:30:12 GMT

20:50 Much as I love Kelly Brook, I think casting her and other 30-something actresses in the stage version of Calendar Girls is rather missing the point #
22:17 The fact that Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright have been in the throes of writing group Hot Fuzz slash fiction all night unnerves me. #
22:18 Twitter really is full of wonderful things, isn't it? #
22:35 15 Weird Al covers: bit.ly/2y1hOy When people cover Weird Al's covers it all starts to get a bit surreal. Nice polka, though. #

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Lord Uxbridge's leg

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:22:43 GMT

I made a comment about the film Waterloo yesterday, which contained the epic exchange between the Duke of Wellington and Henry Paget, Lord Uxbridge, Marquess of Anglesey during the battle:

"By god, sir, I've lost my leg."
"By god, sir, so you have."

What I didn't know, but what wal_lace was kind enough to inform me, was that was an actual reported exchange and not just dialogue for the movie.

What I also didn't know was the story of what happened to Lord Uxbridge's leg after that exchange.

Some background first: Lord Uxbridge was a cavalry commander at the Battle of Waterloo and personally led some of the most decisive charges of the heavy and light cavalry in the battle, personally having eight or nine horses shot from under him in the process. One of the last canon shots of the battle hit his right leg, reportedly triggering the above exchange with Wellington and necessitating its amputation above the knee.

After that point, Lord Uxbridge's leg starts to become a legend in its own right.

Uxbridge was taken to his headquarters in Waterloo, a house owned by the Paris family and the remains of his leg were removed by surgeons, without antiseptic or anaesthetics. Uxbridge's reaction was as stoical as the exchange with Wellington would suggest - apparently his only comment through the dreadful procedure was, "The knives appear somewhat blunt." Although he is also reported to have commented, "I have had a pretty long run. I have been a beau these forty-seven years, and it would not be fair to cut the young men out any longer."

According to the account of Sir Hussey Vivian recorded by Henry Curling in 1847:

“Just after the Surgeon had taken off the Marquis of Anglesey's leg, Sir Hussey Vivian came into the cottage where the operation was performed. "Ah, Vivian!" said the wounded noble, "I want you to do me a favour. Some of my friends here seem to think I might have kept that leg on. Just go and cast your eye upon it, and tell me what you think." "I went, accordingly", said Sir Hussey, "and, taking up the lacerated limb, carefully examined it, and so far as I could tell, it was completely spoiled for work. A rusty grape-shot had gone through and shattered the bones all to pieces. I therefore returned to the Marquis and told him he could set his mind quite at rest, as his leg, in my opinion, was better off than on."

Uxbridge was offered an annual pension of £1,200 in compensation for the loss of his leg, but refused it.

The story doesn't end there.

M. Hyacinthe Joseph-Marie Paris asked if he might bury the leg in his garden, later turning the place into a kind of reliquary shrine. Visitors were first taken to see the bloody chair upon which Uxbridge had sat during the amputation, before being escorted into the garden, where the leg had its own tombstone, inscribed as follows:

Here lies the Leg of the illustrious and valiant Earl Uxbridge, Lieutenant-General of His Britannic Majesty, Commander in Chief of the English, Belgian and Dutch cavalry, wounded on the 18 June 1815 at the memorable battle of Waterloo, who, by his heroism, assisted in the triumph of the cause of mankind, gloriously decided by the resounding victory of the said day.

Some were impressed; others less so. According to an article headed "Marquis of Anglesey's Leg" in Notes and Queries, 1862, a wag wrote on the tombstone -

Here lies the Marquis of Anglesey's limb;
The Devil will have the remainder of him.

The poetaster Thomas Gaspey recorded his own impressions in verse, also recorded in Notes and Queries, which says they "went the round of the papers at the time":

Here rests, and let no saucy knave
Presume to sneer and laugh,
To learn that mouldering in the grave
Is laid a British calf.

For he who writes these lines is sure
That those who read the whole
Will find such laugh were premature,
For here, too, lies a sole.

And here five little ones repose,
Twin-born with other five;
Unheeded by their brother toes,
Who now are all alive.

A leg and foot to speak more plain
Lie here, of one commanding;
Who, though his wits he might retain,
Lost half his understanding.

And when the guns, with thunder fraught,
Pour'd bullets thick as hail,
Could only in this way be taught
To give his foe leg-bail.

And now in England, just as gay -
As in the battle brave -
Goes to the rout, review, or play,
With one foot in the grave.

Fortune in vain here showed her spite,
For he will still be found,
Should England's sons engage in fight,
Resolved to stand his ground.

But fortune's pardon I must beg,
She meant not to disarm;
And when she lopped the hero's leg
By no means sought his h-arm,

And but indulged a harmless whim,
Since he could walk with one,
She saw two legs were lost on him
Who never meant to run.

The leg attracted an amazing range of tourists from European society of the very top drawer, from the King of Prussia to the Prince of Orange. It was a nice earner for Monsieur Paris and his descendents, all the way down to 1878, when it was the occasion for a minor diplomatic incident. Uxbridge's son visited, to find the bones not buried, but on open display. On investigation by the Belgian ambassador in London, it was discovered that they had been exposed in a storm which uprooted the willow tree beside which they were buried. The ambassador demanded repatriation of the relics to England but the Paris family refused, instead offering to sell the bones to the Uxbridge family, who, not surprisingly, were enraged. At this point the Belgian Minister of Justice intervened, ordering the bones to be reburied.

However, the bones were not reburied; they were kept hidden. In 1934, after the last Monsieur Paris died in Brussels, his widow found them in his study, along with documentation proving their provenance. Horrified by the thought of another scandal she incinerated them in her central heating furnace.

Uxbridge himself used an articulated above-knee artificial leg invented by James Potts, with hinged knee and ankle and raising toes which became known as the Anglesey leg. The loss of his leg did not impede the Marquess of Anglesey's career - he rose to become a Field Marshal and Knight of the Garter, twice serving as Lord Lieutenant of Ireland and twice as Master-General of the Ordnance.

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:30:03 GMT

16:21 Just been watching Waterloo. They don't write war movies like this anymore. "My god, sir, I've lost my leg." "My god, sir, so you have." #
19:47 You know, coming down with a virus on deadline is not a fun experience. Doubles the awfulness. To cheer myself up I'm sneezing on someone. #
21:22 Wow, ITV, you've reached a new low. This has to go down as the worst piece of TV since that nude Keith Chegwin quiz. #

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Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:30:17 GMT

15:45 Today I'm spending my time quoting P.G. Wodehouse: "She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."" #
15:52 "Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse." #
16:14 "The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence." #
16:25 "I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." #
16:48 "The face was drawn, the eyes haggard, the general appearance that of one who has searched for a leak in life's gaspipe with a lighted candle." #
17:15 "Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing glove." #
18:00 "Honoria is one of those robust girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge." #
19:02 "The rule by which he had always lived was that the best would have to do until something better came along." #
20:47 "Mrs. Pringle's aspect was that of one who had gotten bad news round about the year 1900 and never really got over it." #
21:02 "I suppose I'm one of those fellows my father always warned me against." #
21:15 "He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg." #
22:35 "He was white and shaken, like a dry martini." #
22:51 "I would like to have called him a pessimist, only I couldn't think of the word." #
22:59 "...now tailors measured him just for the sake of exercise." #
00:16 "Her hair was a deep chestnut, her eyes blue, her nose small and laid back with about as much loft as a light iron." #
00:18 "It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought." #
00:21 "She spoke with the mildness of a cushat dove addressing another cushat dove from whom it is hoping to borrow money." #

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It's 11pm. I've been at work since 9am. I try to remember:

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:57:55 GMT

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:30:08 GMT

12:01 Why did no one tell me it was a dress down day? I could have worn my spats. #
14:01 Tickets to @RobBrydon booked. Post sent. Harry Ramsden's eaten. No, the latter isn't a sexual reference. #
14:14 Radio just played Pete Townshend and the Who and R Kelly back to back. Is it pedophile theme hour? Who's next? Gary Glitter? Jonathan King? #
16:48 Why is it that a fly can get into the office though the tiniest crack in the door but can't get out through an open fucking window? #
18:57 Leona Lewis has reportedly been "punched in the head" at a book signing for her autobiography. I'm shocked. An autobiography?! Of what?! #

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Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 23:30:16 GMT

11:08 I could have done with getting to sleep before half three in the morning... #
18:57 Something something in the face with a blunt spoon. #
18:59 The name of the site is DonMurphy.net. Not "MichaelBayisAwesome.com" or "GiantRobotTestacles:BestIdeaEver.org". Remember that or I end you. #
19:22 ...

With a melon? #
23:07 Went to an Italian restaurant my boss recommended. It was quite an experience. Like stepping back in time. Last time I ate in 1981 was 1981. #
23:10 I felt like I was in an episode of Ashes to Ashes. Especially as the manager was apparently callled Luigi. #

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Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:30:04 GMT

11:21 RT @Schwarzenegger twitpic.com/kujml - "This is how I start my day." Bless him. #
11:57 Never rub your eye when you still have Bonjela on your fingers. #
14:37 The common phrase I read in reviews of the new HHGTTG book is that "it's not Douglas Adams". Thanks critics for stating the bleedin' obvious #
15:01 I can't think of anything worse than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, how you met, or why they're dead. #

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"It’s a slight progress."

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:06:41 GMT

Kevin Smith was on the BBC's Newsnight Review on Friday, along with Mark Millar on film talking about geek culture and pushing his upcoming Kick Ass movie. Other guests included Jeanette Winterson, the novelist (writer of "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit" for one) and Natalie Hynes, comedian and author and Kirsty Wark, the host.

Millar did a little piece proclaiming that Hollywood has changed its hero stories to reflect the geek and how the female audience is rising to the fore.

Strange to hear Millar talking about the female audience, but there then followed this exchange:

Kirsty Wark: Mr Millar.. may say the geeks are all powerful now… but he’s still doing a lonely boy revenge fantasy.

Jeanette Winterson: It’s misogynist, it’s homophobic, everyone’s a fag or a cocksucker, there’s absolutely no place for women except as cardboard cut outs, and the thing is just full of the worst kind of dripping violence, which is a kind of adrenaline injection which means you’ll utterly dead to life in its subtlety, its complexity, its possibilities of expansion of relationships. This is the kind of thing that’s the product of human emptiness

Kevin Smith: I just thought it was a comic book.

Natalie Hynes: Misogynist is a bit unfair, and also inaccurate, it’s the comic book world.

Jeanette Winterson: The comic book world is misogynist! It wipes women out.

Natalie Hynes: I don’t think that’s true any more.

Jeanette Winterson: It is in Kick Arse

I think this little exchange pretty much summed up why I get constantly frustrated with the comics industry when they deal with women. You get Kevin Smith's trite "It's only a comic book!" throwaway and the response to pointing out that the women only exist as cardboard cutouts again there's the "It's the comic book world" response. Honestly, nothing will ever change as long as that attitude is prevalent, amongst observers, but most particularly amongst creators such as Smith.

It also provided this exchange:

Jeanette Winterson: You cannot swap a stereotype of sexual proclivity for a stereotype of violence and call that progressive.

Natalie Hynes: It’s a slight progress.

I think the thing that depresses me most is seeing this on BleedingCool and reading the "HAHA WHAT A BITTER LESBO AMIRITE?!" comments.

I think I'll go hide in Scans_Daily for a few weeks again.

EDIT: And yes, I am aware of the irony of using an icon from a Dave Sim book for this post.

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:30:07 GMT

01:28 Just watched the first episode of Ashes to Ashes. Very ropey. Keeley Hawes' performance lamentable. It sure ain't no Life on Mars so far. #
12:04 Stephen Gately. What? Never a big Boyzone fan, but he's suddenly died? At the same age as me? That's absolutely tragic. #
13:59 What was Dannii doing on last night's X-Factor trying to forcibly "out" Danyl? What does his sexuality have to do with his performance? #
14:02 I like to think that we're past being skittish of gay performers. A calculating attempt to "nobble" the favourite though? Definitely. #
14:08 Coming from someone who's a self-proclaimed "gay icon", mindboggling. Simon Cowell right to be angry and accusing her of "playing games". Oy #
20:00 So, is it going to be the Double Take Brothers or the Strippers/Not Strippers departing tonight on X-Factor? Has to be one of them, surely? #
23:47 Okay, the second episode of Ashes to Ashes was better. Although Alex hugely annoying at the beginning. Glad to see the wind blow out of her. #

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Sad Kermit is Sad

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:26:16 GMT

ANIMAL HARMONIZE!!!

Meanwhile, on Twitter...

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:30:05 GMT

10:27 Conservatives to "rewrite Bible to remove "liberal bias". bit.ly/XKGnb Say goodbye to turning the other cheek and forgiveness. #
10:31 The Sugababes really are starting to look like Trigger's broom. #
11:27 The New College University of Toronto's Africa Studies department presents: "How to write about Africa" - bit.ly/TS0nr #
12:08 RT @Shane_McCarthy "The truth is out, Harry Potter was accepted to Hogwarts on a Quidditch scholarship." Perfectly put. #
12:42 NASA are bombing the moon today. That seems a bit excessive. Is that where Saddam hid his WMDs? #
14:03 I think the headline calling the decision of postal workers to strike against modernisation "the suicide of the Royal Mail" has it dead on. #
14:09 So, apparently I currently look like I'm on the run from my fellow Time Lords: www.angelophile.co.uk/pictures/DSC014412.jpg #
17:01 Russell Brand and Katy Perry have hooked up. Fingers crossed for a very specific meteor strike. #

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Hugh Laurie is a good actor

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:46:21 GMT